Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Weddings, and More Weddings

'Tis the season to be merry and to be married, I suppose. I have at least a couple of wedding invitations for each weekend for the next four weeks. Only one did I get invited to the nikah; the rest are for the receptions. It's no longer like before, I sometimes lament. No longer are you at the hosts' house, lending a hand, making menyibuk. No longer are you consulted for the colour scheme or for the best kiuh akok in the neighbourhood. Even the nikah invitation I got was to attend the ceremony, not to help out.
It didn't use to be this way, there used to be makciks from two kampungs away offering to lend a hand, or if she couldn't, she would send a representative. I no longer feel the building up of a big event coming anymore, with the marriage even of a close relative. We went to AHS' niece's wedding in Ampangan two Sundays ago, and we were 'guests'. I mentioned this to AHS and he said, "Do you really want to be helping out? You get home only at five, on a good day." He has a point, but...

My cousin's son got married on Saturday (9 th June). After much deliberation, I felt I should make myself menyibuk and turn up. And that's what I did. Maybe that's what people do not know how to do anymore -- to just be there, unannounced, unasked. We have lost that spontaneity, somewhat. But all's not lost. I went, several hours before nikah time, fussed about the hantaran, asked about the groom (who was nowhere to be seen: my cousin was frantic), chatted with my aunt who complained about the noise (but feeling really pleased about it, in secret) and when the time came, everything fell into place.
I was glad I went. We should do that more often: being there un-announced. It can be rewarding.


D said...

You are right there, Jooli. We've got to do it the way we used to do. Mr D too is always so conscious about dropping by others' place unannounced. Takut 'menyusahkan'. Oh, bugger... With real Malays, there's no such thing - especially at weddings. Well done! But I guess it's more difficult for you now, eh?

D said...

Be a sport because you have been tagged and apparently, by doing this meme you are contributing rm127 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage.

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